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Why So Angry?

What is anger? Anger is defined as "a strong feeling of annoyance, displeasure, or hostility." It's important to note that anger is a normal, universal human emotion. There are a series of instances and events in life which can cause someone to become angry. Typically, anger arises when someone feels threatened, disturbed, or otherwise interrupted from a peaceful emotional state. Anger can also be combined with other emotions, such as jealousy, sadness, or hopelessness. Which is what I have been feeling lately. Anger from several different things that keep building.


Anger is generated towards a person or thing which one perceives as having wronged them in one way or another. Anger is not always negative, though; it can sometimes serve as inspiration for people to take action or overcome certain fears. We all have fears, whether we want to admit it or not, but we can either let fear and anger rule our lives or we can conquer it. Overcoming it a little at time. Baby steps.


Of course, there are some negatives associated with anger, particularly if this emotion is ongoing or recurring for very long periods. Anger can lead to damaged relationships, lower quality of life, and even health issues, such as higher blood pressure and other tolls on a person's mental and physical health. The negative aftereffects which are associated with repeated and ongoing anger are reasons why controlling anger is so important.


Anger may be an inevitable emotion which humans feel from time to time, but this doesn't mean that we are powerless to control it. By having a grasp on anger, we can ensure that this emotion doesn't fester and become strong enough to control us. Believe it or not, one of the first steps towards controlling anger is acknowledging its existence. Many people have issues with admitting that they are angry; this is especially problematic because no issue can be fixed or dealt with until it's at least addressed.


You never want to be in a position where you find yourself unable to control feelings of anger. Being in this place means that anger has controlled you, which is only a recipe for disaster. When someone is unable to control their anger, they tend to lash out and otherwise do things which they will regret later. Anger is not an inherently bad emotion, but when anger controls you instead of you controlling it, this is when danger arrives.


I feel like I have my anger under control but there are times where I am about to burst. I don’t get so angry where I say or do things that I regret very often but when I do, I avoid situations or people to keep from doing something I will regret until I cool down. When I feel too much, I shut myself out from people and the world.


I am one that doesn’t really talk about what is going on in my head. It’s something I am working on where I open up, at least a little at a time. Anger comes in all shapes and sizes. For me it’s silence. It’s better for me to keep silent when I am angry. There are pros and cons about that. The pros is you aren’t saying anything that hurt others and regret saying things. The cons of keeping quiet when angry is it hurts others and yourself. Without communication you can’t fix what is making you so angry. I should probably hear what I’m saying because I keep my anger and everything else in, to the point where the smallest thing can make me burst.


I use the analogy where my mind is like a dam. The water is emotions and the dam are the walls I keep up to hold them back. Every time I hold something back, whether it be depression, anxiety and even anger it puts more pressure on the dam. The more water that is added, the more pressure there is against the wall. When there is pressure the wall cracks to the point where it bursts. Just like my mind when I hold something back and when the dam breaks people within its vicinity get hurt and the apology tour begins. That is the reason when I feel my dam is about to burst, I isolate myself from people. I keep others safe from the dam breaking and it gives me time to patch up the dam walls and relieve the pressure by talking to a few people, so the dam won’t break. That is especially difficult for me to do is reaching out when I need to talk.


Understanding the root of your anger makes all the difference. Anger can be a very complex emotion and sometimes, it's an aftereffect of previous issues which haven't been resolved. There are many situations when people resort to anger to conceal emotions which may make them feel more vulnerable, such as sadness, jealousy or disappointment. In other scenarios, ongoing anger may serve as a manifestation of an underlying problem from a long time ago or even childhood.


At the end of the day, having a firm grasp on the root of your anger makes all the difference. Sometimes, anger really can be simply the result of a person or situation, but if you are constantly feeling angry, then this is may be indicative of a larger issue. This larger issue could be a poor relationship, a lifestyle choice, a toxic environment, etc. Regardless of what it may be, you're going to need to get to the bottom of it if you are serious about bettering yourself and freeing yourself from habitual anger.


A lot has happened in my life from childhood to adulthood that anger keeps building up. That is something I recently brought to light with my therapist and we are working on the root of the anger and where it started. I have spent so much time on depression and anxiety that I haven’t thought about focusing on my anger. I should have focused on this a long time ago, but I just thought I was depressed not angry. My therapist thinks otherwise, and truth be told, she’s not wrong.


When dealing with anger, it's important to be cognizant of patterns and the roles which they play in your feelings. One of the most revealing things about patterns is that they provide insight into who you are, your choices, and whether certain changes are in order.


If you find that you are constantly feeling angry around certain people or in certain environments, then this is a very negative pattern which requires a change. Remember, people and environments who are good for you will not constantly cause you to feel angry or otherwise unhappy. Sometimes, we must make tough decisions now which allows us to grow and evolve in the long run.


Anger can ruin opportunities, destroy families, and prevent people from having experiences which would be good for them and help them grow. Ongoing anger is not a positive state of being. As the old saying goes, like attracts like. If you are constantly in a state of anger, you will attract additional things to be angry about. The way you feel on a daily, regular basis matters, and it sets the tone for so many things in your life. It determines how you go about life, how others perceive you, the manner in which you interact with people, and so much more. The ultimate pitfall of ongoing anger is robbing yourself of an amazing quality of life which could be available to you.


If you are struggling with managing your anger make sure and be cognizant of patterns, taking note of triggers, and noticing patterns is all well and good. However, there are certain situations where people do their best and yet still struggle to manage their anger. Generally, a person who has trouble with their anger may lash out at others or otherwise behave in self-destructive ways when things aren't working out in the ways which they would like.


If you feel as though you are going through a tough time in life, whether you're struggling with anger or dealing with another matter entirely, it's important for you to understand that you are not alone. At the end of the day, we all go through tough times, but dealing with them and continuing to push forward is what ultimately matters. Maybe therapy will help you manage your anger and help you work through what is going on but it’s your choice to take that step. Be the best you that you can be. YOU BE YOU.




 
 
 

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1 Comment


tim
tim
May 21, 2021

Great article, very interesting, you could wright a good book.

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