A New relationship

A lot of my insecurities has to do with relationships. Does he really like me or is he pretending? Does my body type bother him? Will he leave if he knows who I really am? No, I’m not saying I pretend to be someone else. I hide a lot of me from people. And that, my friend, is unhealthy. But with my insecurities and my mental illness, my mind goes to the worst place imaginable. What I fail to see is the good things that can happen when my own mind is holding me back from something great.

I'm not like other women. I am impressed pretty easily. Be a good guy, a gentleman and I'm impressed. You don't need money or things to do that cost money. Take me on a picnic (which is hard when it’s the middle of winter) or we can sit at home watching a movie or how about cooking dinner together. The fact that all I want to do is spend time with you is the main thing why I'm even dating you.

I have this fear where if I confront a guy that I really like about something that is weighing on my mind he won't like it and he will just leave. I also don't want to waste my time with someone who wants just ONE thing. You know what I mean? I'm not that type of women either. I am not ready for that step in my life. That's a whole other topic. My point is, how am I supposed to overcome some of these fears and insecurities if I don’t get the guts to talk about it with the guy. I am just worried that the guy would think ‘Screw this! I don’t want a woman who is “crazy”!’ and then leave. I know I’m not crazy. I am just a typical woman with anxiety. That’s with every relationship I have ever been in. The thing about this one is. I want this to work out. He’s not the typical guy I usually date. He’s better.