Don't Speak to Me

Ever just sit someplace and people watch? Go someplace such as the mall, restaurant, or even the park? Just sitting there, breathing, clearing your mind, and just observing everything around you?

You can gauge people’s characteristics by their NON-verbal communication. The way they interact with other people and so on. I bring this up because I am in an interpersonal communications class for school and we had a project at our last class meeting. What we did was went to the mall and walk around observing interactions with people. Our challenge was to also interact with people and see how they would react.

For an example; a few of my classmates went to a hat store and specifically asked the clerk, “do you know where I can get hats?”. They deliberately asked this to see how the clerk would react. From what my classmates said the clerk was really nice about it at first. Until a few other classmates did the same thing and the clerk got irritated.

Let’s go another route. There was one of my male classmates that went to a cosmetics counter and ask questions about make-up and skin care. The clerk was engaging and nice at first. Then, another male classmate walks up puts his hand on his shoulder and says, “what did you find, sweetie?”. The cosmetics clerk TRIED to seem professional but didn’t smile and you could see the judgement in her eyes.

From a recent post, you know that I am ATTEMPTING to play video games. Well, I went into a video game store to look at the games and other gaming equipment. Sure, I was interested in the different types of games and such. But I had a mission. My mission was to interact with people in a way that was out of my comfort zone. I am one, that likes to keep to herself and is shy. Well, until you get to know me, then I don’t shut up. Point is, my assignment for class was a challenge for me. It was out of my comfort zone. I had to interact in a way that is normally NOT me. My teacher knows this is something that I don’t do well in. So, when he told the class what we will be doing. He made a point to look at me directly and flat out told me “heather, you will have to come out of your shell and comfort zone to complete this challenge”. Cue anxiety. I’m into theater so I can just pretend to be someone else and improvise, right? WRONG. I kept telling myself I can come out of my comfort zone if I just treated this interaction like I was in a play and it was all improvised.

You can also talk yourself out of coming out of your comfort zone, too. That is exactly what I did. I talked myself out of challenging myself. I chickened out. So, instead of interacting. I used non-verbal communication. Since that was the point of the challenge, right? Observe non-verbal communications? I decided to interact with the clerk in a non-verbal way and observe how she reacted. Would she come over and ask if I’m finding everything ok? Stand at the counter and shout if I’m finding everything ok? Or strike up a conversation about gaming? The clerk didn’t do ANYTHING. She would look at me and not smile. She didn’t even say “hi”. Almost like she was judging me and knew that I am not a gaming person. I was standing by the PS4 games looking at the different games. Pulling the games off the shelves and looking at them and comparing of them. I even made it a point to turn towards the clerk but still look at the games with a questioning look on my face. To show that I was confused and had questions about the two games I was looking at. The clerk did not notice, so I left the store.

Non-verbal communication is still communication. Someone’s facial expression, body language, and even breathing can tell what someone may be thinking. Doesn’t mean you are right every time. Now it’s keeping your non-verbal communication skills in check when you are talking someone because how your face reacts to someone talking could cause more problems. You may be thinking “wow this is an awesome party” but your face and body language may say the “I want out of this place. When can I leave?”. Pay attention to your non-verbal communication. You’d be amazing what may happen if you payed attention more.